so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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