I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
