So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
