There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
