I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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