She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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