He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
