Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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