She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Slut skills are useful in every country.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
