I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize