The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
