At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
