the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
