i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize