worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize