And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
