Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
