ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
