I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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