How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
