Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
