Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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