If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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