Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The Olympian is in my bed
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
