is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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