Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
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