She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
