I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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