u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My dick has a subreddit
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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