So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
