My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
