He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
