That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
