Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she woke up with a sticky ear
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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