just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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