Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize