Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
