And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
