i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
