You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
