It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
How does one acquire holy water?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
