so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
