Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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