There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
