Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize