i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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