after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
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