Betty ford says i'm here all night
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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