Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
