thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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