Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
