Duck Duck Cougar?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
PANTIES FOUND
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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