Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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