i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
