So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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