I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
