So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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