You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
